You died. Strangely. Now plz rate the experience.

Game over screens — as a professional gamer, you understand — aren't something that I personally have a lot of firsthand experience with. Not through a lack of in-game skill, that's for sure.

However, as I'm also a highly learned and incredibly hirsute scholar of the interactive arts (also a compulsive liar), I have made it my very important business to die on purpose many, many times in order to familiarise myself with the very best and most important ways to come-a-cropper, as they say, in a video game.

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